At press, Halloween is just a few days away, which means that there will be all sorts of creatures, critters, demons, monsters, and armies of the undead roaming the streets. Unfortunately, some of you will get bitten by the latter, which can really put a damper on the rest of the year (or life in general). Aside from the rotting and bad smell that comes along with the transition, zombies have a wide number of musculoskeletal issues to contend with. While there is no known cure, you can maintain a reasonable quality of life when you work with a physiotherapist. Read below to learn more (while you still can).
3 Common Musculoskeletal Problems for Zombies That Regular Physiotherapy Can Make More Manageable
The Zombie Shuffle
Within minutes of being bitten, you’ll notice that your gait (manner of walking) becomes compromised. What was once a strong confident step becomes a stiff, sideways, and limping shuffle. Not only does this slow you down, it creates all sorts of problems for the rest of your body. For instance, walking with a zombie limp will place additional stresses on joints and the muscles around your back, hips, and knees. Trochanteric bursitis (inflammation of the tissues around the side of the hip) is often triggered by poor balance and abnormal gait patterns that are common to the undead. Fortunately, a physiotherapist can perform a gait analysis (from a safe distance, that is) and will prescribe you with custom orthotics to improve your gait and prevent correlated muscle and joint problems.
Rotator Cuff Dysfunction
This problem rears its head a few months after you’ve initially transformed, as your brain deteriorates even more. Eventually you begin to raise and point your arms forward as you walk towards the slightest sound in the hopes of finding sustenance. Keeping your arms in this extended position for extended periods of time puts significant strain on your deltoids which will eventually manifest as a rotator cuff injury. Our physiotherapy clinic generally recommends weekly IMS dry needling to ease the pain and discomfort of a rotator cuff injury in addition to shoulder tendinopathy and impingement syndrome.
Rounded Shoulders
If you end up more like an AMC’s Walking Dead zombie, you may not extend your arms while you walk. Instead, you will end up exhibiting poor posture where the shoulders lose proper alignment with the spine. Consequently you will end up with what is known as rounded shoulders. Not only does this add to your already unsightly appearance, the comprised position of your spine can lead to pain, discomfort, disc generation, and nerve compression. Rounded shoulders can also contribute to tinnitus (ringing in the ears), dizziness, and more. Once again physiotherapy intervention is the key to enjoying a better quality of life as a member of the undead. Your therapist will create an individualized exercise program that considers the extent of postural problems along with your specific daily activities (shuffling around town hunting for “food”) that may contribute to the issue. Your regime may include massage therapy and myofascial release along with movements, stretches, and exercises that you can complete wherever and whenever you feel inspired.
If your zombie hoard is located in the Greater Vancouver BC area be sure to schedule a consultation at Absolute PhysioCare right away. Although, if possible, we prefer to do your sessions online for the safety of our therapists.